lost . . .

It’s been a while since I last posted here in my blog. I kind lost the touch to write with everything that has happened. I’m slowly trying to get back the enthusiasm to write again. Hopefully, I’ll get the right vibe soon. Hayzz…

Time was a cruel thief. ..he robbed us the man we love.

Losing someone you care so much about is just plain hard. It’s mentally taxing, emotionally frustrating, and spiritually draining. The worst part is it leaves a big hole inside you. How could you possibly deal with it?

I’ve talked about death in this blog before. How hard it is, how to deal with it, and even how to accept it. It was positively written that you’d think I’ve experienced a lot of deaths in my life already. Actually, it was only written because the topic interests. Never did I knew that experiencing death with a loved one first-hand would make me want to delete what I wrote and scratch the word death in my vocabulary.

. . . I’ve met him only once, but the imprint he left in my heart was beyond compare. Learning about his death this morning was like a dream I never want to recall. He was still young. There was still a lot for him to experience. He was yet to see his sons build a family of their own. But Fate had other plans for him. His time here with us was over.

It was hard seeing the man I love sad, hurt, and confused. He loved him so much. He cared for him a lot. But he left too soon. He left him unprepared.

But I know he’s in a good place now. I know he’s happy where he is.

We’ll miss you so much Dad. Till me meet again. . .

From 24-year old me to 60-year old me

Dear Future Me,

Its May 3 today. I’m feeling sad, distraught, anxious, disappointed, and perplexed. I was supposed to go to Oguis today, but unfortunately, I have to take an exam tomorrow. I’ve been looking forward to this trip since last month. This would have been the first time we’re all going home to Oguis as a family after 9 yrs. But sadly, here I am left anxious and alone in our house.

I’m counting the hours and minutes till they return. I’m sure they have a lot of stories and pictures to show. If only I could move the exam schedule. I would trade it for anything under the sun so long as I can go on this vacation. I so need a vacation. I want to escape the stress and pressure of work even just for a few days. I want to reassess my priorities and what I really want to do with my life. Lately, I’ve been feeling down and unhappy. I feel like there is something missing in my life.

Well, I guess I’m just too disappointed that’s why I feel this way. Oh, how I wish life is simple and carefree. No stress, no pressure, no worry. I hope you’re not feeling the same way I do. Don’t get yourself too anxious, ok. You’re not getting any younger. You won’t handle stress the same way as before. Just keep yourself relaxed and happy.

How’s life, by the way? You’re probably retired by now. Have you gone back to Oguis yet? How is it there? Still as serene and simple as it was before? I hope so.

Take care of yourself, ok and say hi for me to my sisters.

From,

Past me